Being ChildFree and Dating Deal Breakers

There has been a talk going on a few of the ChildFree lists that I am on in regards to what one’s dating deal breakers are or have been in the past, and it got me to thinking about some of the areas that I had when I was myself looking for someone to share my life with.

When I was once looking I really didn’t have an issue with the person I was dating having children or not, but there where qualifiers to that.

was that the person NOT be the primary caretaker for the children
that they didn’t wont any more children
would be willing to make sure that couldn’t happen if they where a male
if there where children that they are pre-teens but over the age of 3 (I just know that I can not deal with babies and teens are hard enough to deal with in the school environment, never mind the home front).
On no terms would they call me mom or mommy, first name deal or a nick would be used
There was some other ones, but I don’t remember them since well I only ever dated a couple of people who had children to start with, most bailed on me when they heard the term ChildFree or that I was Infertile.

In general when I was dating my main deal breakers where…

Drinker (I do not drink, so for me anyone I am with shouldn’t either – a single cooler once a month or couple times a year to be was acceptable, but nothing stronger)
Smoker (this was one of those areas that wasn’t hard to find people who where older who didn’t but my own age group is was next to impossible)
Drug User (enough said)
Being Abusive background (I fell into this trap once to many that I wasn’t going to fall into it again if I could well help it)
Being a religious fanatic or similar deal there of (you can follow your own path, but forcing it down my throat or trying to covert me over big deal breaker)
Being intolerance of someone who is Pagan (I’ve walked my path for 20 plus years of my life, its part of who I am at my core so anyone who couldn’t take that part of me I wasn’t interested in dating)
Someone who worked at the same company I did (might work out for some, but I just wasn’t in to that deal, if we ended up working together at a home business or the like later on that was a different matter)
Like all things there was other areas that came under the deal breakers, but there where also flexible deal breakers that I might over look if there was something else going on that found deal breaker wasn’t that much of an issue (as in current smoker but was in the process of quitting and was showing progress about doing so).

We all have things we look for in a partner weather one is looking for that person to marry or to just be a companion for the rest of their life – we all have things we look for and things that just are not going to work for us regardless of how well we like or get along with the person.

Being ChildFree is no different when it comes to looking for that special person in ones life, we all have an idea of what it is we wont out of a partner and what we are not willing to do within a relationship, such as having a child of our blood or becoming a mom to a step child. There are people who draw the line at dating those who like dogs or cats, just as there are those who draw the line at dating anyone who has cats, but will only date those who have dogs and vice versa.

When I was looking for a person to spend my life with, I was looking for…

Someone who loved and/or had dogs, but who wasn’t into cats and who liked or at least was willing to live with parrots.
Someone who would love me for who I am and not an ideal that they wonted me to conform to.
Someone who could deal with having a partner who was diabetic and all associated issues that can come with being one.
Someone who could deal with my asexuality and lack of sex drive and not feel the need to try and fix me when there is nothing wrong with being asexual.
Someone who was pagan or at least open to pagan beliefs in general
Someone who loved to travel and see parts of the world as time passes
Someone who either identified as being Furry or who was at least understanding of furies
Well for all of the listing of things I was looking for in a partner I did find a good number of them in my hubby, some areas I didn’t even know I was looking for and other ares that I wasn’t to keen on well they really don’t make a difference between us as I thought they might (such as our ages only being just over a year apart, I never though I’d get along with someone my own area this well, since its not been my own track record over the years I was dating).

So those where some of my deal breakers and other things I once use to look for when I was on the dating market. Not much different then those who are not ChildFree in many areas but different enough that it made dating its own night mare from time to time.

Well hope everyone has a wonderful May, take care and write more as time does allow for it.
Nyx

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Being ChildFree

There are many motivations for choosing to have children, and there are as many or more for the choice to remain childfree, some of the reasons that people choose to remain childfree are…

*Lack of desire for children (my main reason)
*Lack of a compelling reason to have children
*General dislike of children and/or their behavior
*Seeing the effects of children on family/friends (one of hubbies reasons)
*Lack of maternal/paternal instincts
*Unwillingness to conform to the obligations of socially defined gender roles
*Contentment with enjoyment of pets (this is one of ours)
*Not wanting to sacrifice privacy/personal space for children
*Not wanting to sacrifice time for children
*Not wanting to commit to increased financial responsibility or burden or unable to afford the costs.
*Belief that childbearing would reduce career advancement
*Fear of loss of employment or health insurance, for instance because of lack of parental leave
*Belief that parenthood will someday be disliked by oneself
*Belief that maintaining a certain level of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy with partner will not be possible with the presence of children
*Perceived or actual incapacity to be a responsible and patient parent
*Maintaining freedom of personal choice
*Prefer to maintain ability to change career or city of residence at short notice (spontaneous population or social mobility)
*Concern for safety of parent or child
*The risk that an existing medical condition, such as diabetes, depression or the development of ectopic pregnancy could result in a dangerous or difficult pregnancy, or difficulty in raising the child (another of my own reasons)
*Fear of maternal or infant mortality
*Concern that the child would inherit a hereditary disease (no concern, I know it would)
*Low availability of high quality and affordable childcare
*Fear and/or revulsion towards the physical condition of pregnancy, the childbirth experience, and recovery (for example the erosion of physical desirability).
*Fear of child abuse or domestic violence.
*Belief that one can make a greater contribution to humanity through one’s work than through having children
*Belief that people tend to have children for the wrong reasons
*Belief that it is wrong to bring a child into the world if the child is unwanted
*Belief that it is wrong to intentionally have a child when there are so many children available for adoption
*Concern regarding environmental impacts such as overpopulation, pollution, and resource scarcity
*Belief that if both parents choose their careers over parenting a baby, it is not good parenting and/or fair to a child, or believing that their particular career would prevent them from being a good parent
*Antinatalism, the belief that it is inherently immoral to bring people into the world e.g. in order to prevent suffering in a child’s life.
*A sense of realism about the negative, competitive, declining condition of the world and culture and not subjecting a child to those negative conditions
*Concerns that calamitous events (e.g., global warming effects, war, or famine) might be likely to occur within the lifetime of one’s children and cause their suffering and/or death
*View of childbearing and resultant parenting role as a heteronormative social construct which subjugates by restricting lifestyle options and possibilities for personal advancement.

We all make choices in life that effect our future, some make the choice to remain ChildFree, other after having a child wish that they had never dun so and then there are those who are glad that they did have children. Regardless of your reasons for having or not having children its your personal choice and no one else’s.

If My Human Wonted To Hear Pitter Patter Of Little Feet I'd Be Wearing Shoes

Passing of a 51 year Friendship

 I am sad to say that yesterday my mom's BFF of 51 years passed on into the summerlands. 

At the age of 75 she had been battling with her health for many years and in the past several days that fight had been taken to the next level, but yesterday surrounded by her family she was allowed to pass on into the summerlands. 

I know my mom will miss you, you where a second sister to her, rest in peace Margaret Schneider, she is survived by her daughter Susan and her two sons and their families.

TMI Tuesday #230

1. Have you ever broken something in someone's home unknown to them and never told them? If yes, explain. Not that I am aware of, its possible when I was younger that it happened, but if so I have no memory of it taking place. 

2. What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why? I have no sexual guilty pleasure to talk about, so there is nothing that I couldn't openly talk about to any friend of mine.

3. Take a peek over any celebrity's shoulder in the bathroom...who are they and what are they reading? ::mind goes blank::

4. Roses are red, violets are blue...[finish this line with your own rhyme] My Husky is sweet and so are you!

5. Do you believe in ghosts or other supernatural activity? Why or why not? Yes I do believe in ghosts and other supernaturals, because to me there are more things out there then meets the eyes, thus to me anything is possible until proven beyond a shadow of a dough to be other wise. 

Bonus (optional): How many times have you thought about sex in the last 24 hours? What triggered it? Who did it involve? Provide as much details as you like.  Yes I have and it was my hubby who triggered it and it was with my hubby. As to what it was or what was dun, all I'll say is that walking afterwards was an interesting adventure in and of itself. Not to mention I think I need to see the chiropractor!

Insulin Injection Points

I know that my Endro said that there was three points of injection that I could do to myself

Should/Upper Arm
Tummy/Side
Thy

Now I can’t reach my upper arm to give myself an injection, so that isn’t happening … when I tried a year ago to inject into my tummy/side area it was to freaking painful (wasn’t able to find a spot that didn’t scream at me when I tried), so this left me with using my thys to inject into.

What I am wondering is from other Diabetics who have to inject insulin where do you do it and do you notice a difference from where you do it in how your body makes use of the Insulin injected?

My endo said it didn’t make a difference – but just like other injections i’ve gotten it does make a difference where some things are injected into. As in muscle vs fat.

I’m wondering if the reason I need to take the 20 units of lantus is because I inject into my thy and not my tummy/side .. same goes with the 8 to 10 units of humalog that I now take with meals.

Oh well I know I’ve asked my endro about it and he still says it doesn’t matter – so it likely doesn’t but I do just wonder what other diabetics who inject have found for themselves, since I know oh so well what works for one doesn’t always work that way for another.

———
Well I think i found my answer on a diabetic site … Abdomen: fastest … Thigh and Arm: slower and Buttocks: slowest … article does say meal time shots work best in the tummy area (winces – ouch).

Well take care everyone!
Nyx

This Isn't My Main Blog

If you would like to read my main blog you can view it here but from time to time I will be posting back dates from the blog here, but by far clicking on that link is the best way of seeing all of my postings that I've written over the past 8 years.

ChildFree Humour

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming!” and I smiled.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to grin.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

“Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”… I just lost it.”

The judge slams his mallet down, case dismissed.