Trying to get back into the swing of it

 Well, I am going to try and get back into streaming like I had gotten into doing in 2020, but have not kept up doing fully in 2021 ... part of me wants to start new and just go for it full out, but the other part of me wants to ease into it and focus on other things that aren't streaming. 

Not sure what I wish to really get into, been trying to think about what I would like to do. Part of me likes the idea of doing LIVE drawings on my Mac using my Wacom tablet and just talking as I draw so to speak, similar to what I did when I did the live stream of the creative process I went through trying to design the Epilepsy Awareness Month Instagram images. 

Another part of me is thinking that I should work on doing my own vlogs like I had started to do in 2019, but I know I do need to also get into actually editing the videos and not just posting them as they were live-streamed, something that is going to take some getting use to and figuring out what software will be best for that. 

Currently not too sure where to start, but one thing is for sure nothing will happen unless I make it happen, so it means I have to make an effort to move forward and keep moving instead of stopping like I did, I have to make a commitment to doing something every day or once a week or the like and keep at it. 

Not sure what that looks like right now, but I am thinking that doing one vlog a week will be a good starting point, even if the vlog is just a weekly update of what is happening in my day-to-day life. I'm also going to try and post at least 1 TikTok per week (though I know more is better) and I am thinking of doing the whole skull face deal for it, maybe not the half-face that has been done but something along those lines but is also keeping with my furry gamer self but also speaks to being aro/ace. 

As to streaming that also I need to get back into doing regularly, and I am honestly thinking of either continuing doing my Minecraft Mondays and then doing one other day of the week for streaming my Sims 4 Generation Challenge which I have been highly neglecting for the past several months. 

I know I need to pick what I am going to do and stick with it, so maybe just doing what I have written and not committing to 5 days a week of video game streaming might be a good start, as in just commit to once or twice a week streaming of two games and anything else I might stream is as it is and is like a bonus type deal. 

Well, hope everyone has had a good year, and may 2022 be even better! 

Take care peeps!

Ozempic - 3rd Dosage

 Well took the 3rd dosage a little later than I was expecting to take it, as in 24 hours later than expected but at least I didn't forget it longer - not that it would have been an issue its just annoying that I lost that much track of what day of the week it was to actually forget to take it on the day it was due. 

At any rate, took the 3rd dosage and can't say much has changed from the 1st or 2nd dosage - still having the same issues when it comes to the whole running to the WC when I have too much in the way of complex carbs, but it isn't as often as it was when I first started so that's something at least. 

Insulin dosage wise things are looking better, I still, need to take the 200 units of my background insulin but my general usage of Humalog though still, a 1:2 rato seems to be more stable to degrees than it was when I first started the Ozempic, so that means at least something is starting to work in the right direction.

No weight loss to speak of, not noticing any in regards to clothing fitting any better - so sadly can't say as yet that the side effect that many on it are looking for, it might yet still happen as it is also possible that the dosage needs to increase before it might have an effect or it might not happen at all since it is just a potential side effect and not a guarantee. 

Still not affecting my appetite as I expected it to, since that is the number 1 issue that almost everyone I have read who is on it. I'm not upset with that issue, I do have the odd feeling like I'm stuffed when I haven't even had more than a single bite - but it doesn't last for long thankfully. 

I will take my 4th dosage as scheduled just before the start of the new year, so will post more as time does pass! 

Miles Davis Quote

I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning . . . Every day I find something creative to do with my life. – Miles Davis (1926-1991)

Ozempic – 2nd Dosage

 Posted originally on December 18, 2021, on Nyxstium.info

Well took my second round of Ozempic at .25 on Friday (December 17th, 2021) around 11pm EST

It's been a good portion of the day and so far no issues like I had with my first dosage at least not within the first 24 hours. Still do not feel like eating at all, which is something that the med is supposed to interfere with as-is, but since I normally don’t have an appetite this aversion to food is new (as in thinking about food would normally not be a concern, but even thinking about it makes my tummy turn so trying to make meals has become a problem when I need to cook or bake or what have you and instead of it smelling good and yummy my brain/body is saying “Nope, Nope can’t make me, oh hockey stick nope!” so that is becoming very much annoying to say the least.

Running the to loo has been a problem here and there though not as bad as it was the first few days after my first dosage so thankfully that petered off, though didn’t completely stop just slowed down to a more manageable level. Here’s hoping that I don’t have a repeat of the first week for the second week. But like all things time will tell how it does actually go when all is said and done.

Stewart L. Udall Quote

Where nature is concerned, familiarity breeds love and knowledge, not contempt. – Stewart L. Udall

Arthur Schopenhauer Quote

 Life is short yet truth works far and lives long. Let us speak the truth. – Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

Starting Ozempic

originally posted to my main blog at Nyxstium.info 

Well, my endocrinologist put me on Ozempic in the hopes that it will help with my developed Insulin Resistance, and as a potential side effect help with weight loss.

When I saw him two weeks ago, I wasn’t expecting him to spring this one on me at all it came out of left field, and seeing the increased online comments about the drug within the DOC (diabetic online community) I am starting to think the reason he even did so was because of a rep hitting him up to do so, but also that it's now officially be released in Canada so there is a push to get people on it who are not having good results from other methods.

Well, I am not happy to add something like this to my deal, I am willing to give it a limited shot to see if it will be of help/use to me. But knowing my body as I do I am not counting on it doing anything of a helpful nature (but I can always be wrong).

I was scheduled to start it the Friday of the week I saw him, but life happened so it wasn’t until last Friday that I finally injected myself with the .25 that I am supposed to start on. His instructions are that I am supposed to be on .25 for two weeks then go to .50 for two weeks so when I get my next pen I’ll be at .50 already.

However, all that I have read from various people within the DOC and specific to the drug itself is that it is best to stay at the lower dosage until your body gets used to it so as to not cause too many adverse effects, of which I am currently experiencing (which I was hoping wouldn’t be the case, but sadly is). I don’t know if I will do his .50 like he wants me to or holds out for to do .25 until the pen runs out and then with the new pen maybe start the .50 (or dial it down and keep at .25) he is 0 help so it comes down to my own judgment as to what I think will be best for me when all is said and done.

All I can say is as of right now, there has been no weight loss – I am still unfortunately at the 280 mark. But I also know that weight loss is just a potential side effect, not a guarantee so it is what it is. I do know that I haven’t noticed any change in my insulin needs as yet. As in I am still needing to take 200 Units of Background insulin and 60 to 100 units of Humalog with meals (1:2) and my correction is still at 1:1 5 days in. But I have read that it can take more than a week before you see a difference, yet others post they saw a difference in their insulin needs within a day or two of starting.

Maybe it depends on how bad of insulin resistance you actually have as to how fast that difference happens? I don’t know as I haven’t seen any posts that explain it and even the site itself doesn’t really go into detail in regards to this side of things so that makes me think it is an individual thing as to how it happens (if it happens at all).

If you are wondering what Ozempic is it is according to the parent website “Ozempic® injection 0.5 mg or 1 mg is an injectable prescription medicine for adults with type 2 diabetes used along with diet and exercise to improve blood sugar. It also lowers the risk of major cardiovascular (CV) events such as heart attack, stroke, or death in adults with type 2 diabetes and known heart disease.”

That doesn’t really tell you much about what it actually it, but that is their basic explanation about it, the fun thing is that it is being prescribed off label as a weight loss drug – which it isn’t approved for or as, but it is still being prescribed as such there is a complete online community of people who are specifically on it ONLY for weight loss, the fact that is can cause hypoglycemia is something these people are playing with (which just baffles me to no end). But that is their bodies, the whole hypoglycemia issue is something that I have to be aware of that it can happen but so far so good.

At any rate, I’m giving it a go and will see how it goes for me.

 Starting Ozempic | Nyxks Musings (nyxstium.info)

Igor Stravinsky Quote

 The trouble with music appreciation, in general, is that people are taught to have too much respect for music; they should be taught to love it instead. – Igor Stravinsky

Beverly Sills Quote

 You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. – Beverly Sills (1929-____)

Horotio W. Dresser Quote

 Do your best every day and your life will gradually expand into satisfying fullness. – Horotio W. Dresser

William James Quote

 Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. – William James (1842-1910)

John Dos Passos Quote

 People don’t choose their careers; they are engulfed by them. – John Dos Passos

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt Quote

 A little simplification is the first step toward rational living. – Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

Dr. Samuel Johnson Quote

 A man ought to read just as inclination leads him, for what he reads as a task will do him little good. – Dr. Samuel Johnson

Things are Opening Up!

 

Originally Posted on July 27, 2021 on my main site 

Well, I know that we are now in Phase 3 of the reopening, or is it 4 (I’ve lost count, to tell the truth)? I honestly don’t know and part of me doesn’t really care since it still doesn’t feel like it is actually safe to go out there among larger crowds of people, not with this new Delta Variant that's now been discovered.

Yes, I am fully vaccinated, both N and I have gotten our two shots (same drug both times – we didn’t mix as I was too worried about my reactions to the stuff to even allow that to happen, so made sure when booking). Turns out my idea to make sure it was the same might well have another good reason since it seems that some of the US companies are saying that unless you have a single vaccine you are not covered, as in you can’t have two different vaccinations and be considered to be fully vaccinated unlike what Health Canada is saying is the case, many US companies, and other counties are saying that isn’t the case (and WHO seems to be backing them).

Actually went out to get blood-work done because I have my appointment end of the month, so needed to have my a1c done before seeing him – sighs I am praying that my numbers are lower than when I last saw him – sadly when I checked my results in the system I’m where I was 5 years ago for my number, which ticks me off since the only new thing that has happened to me is getting the COVID vaccination! Eating habits, what I eat, etc haven’t really changed over the past two years and my numbers have been on the downwards trend, until the shot that is.

My Endo is so NOT going to be happy with me, I’m not happy with me. Even knowing I haven’t done anything different between my last test and this one (aka no eating habit change, food habit change, or the like – the only differentiating factor is the shot).

Well I will just have to see what he says when I see him and pray that he has answers as to what I can do to get things back on track, cause even my diabetic team outside of his control is stumped at what is going on, and we’ve just been increasing my insulin with meals to a minimum of 50 units with a meal regardless of the number of carbs the meal has my base to take is 50 units and then to add an additional unit of insulin per 2 grams of carbs. Again sometimes this does work, other times it doesn’t seem to work at all.

Things are Opening Up! | Nyxks Musings (nyxstium.info)

Today is Disability Awareness Day

Today is the day that many people with various disabilities will be posting on social media and raising awareness for various disabilities and disabilities in general.

Each month there are various medical conditions which are highlighted and some months have specific days for specific conditions also, such as September is Dystonia Awareness Month, just like it is also Pain Awareness Month with the American Chronic Pain Association, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Month with the National Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Association and even World Alzheimer’s Month with Alzheimer’s Disease International along with many others.

So if you wish to Raise Awareness for Disabilities today is the day to make it happen (then again every day is – but today is the one day of the year when it's the most popular to do it or it is becoming such).

Pfizer Update

Well still not able to get hold of my GP or my Endo, but I was in contact with my diabetic team from the hospital and they agree that the shot has really done a number of me that is unexpected and that I should file with the government (fill out the form on side effects) about what has been going on with my health and everything.

So working on doing that, but the sites being a bugger for loading and staying loaded – as in I start to fill it out and it times out and louses all the information that I was entering – so might just say for-get-it and do the pdf version instead. 

My glucose control is still nowhere close to where it was before the shot, I am still taking upwards of 300 units of insulin and I am still running high – its like no matter what I do my numbers will not stay below 10 (180) for any good length of time.

My pain level is still high and the stiffness is feeling like it's getting worse and my tolerance to the cold OMG it is BAD. I use to LOVE the cold but the past few days of cooler weather have been so bleeping painful and it has left me in virtual tears because my hands wouldn’t work properly and the pain in my spine was crippling (as in it feels like it's going to snap in two) to the point that pushing myself to walk has left me wanting to eat Advil and Tylenol like candy in the hopes that combined it will give some relief (but I refuse to take more than the daily recommended dosage) – and it does 100% nothing to bring the pain down. It's like I am taking NOTHING at all, which is really disappointing as there is nothing else I can do to lower my pain levels.

I put on a good face, I smile and I laugh I try to not show how much pain I really am in. I think the only reason I am not screaming in pain is that I know it wouldn’t do anything to help the pain and only make things worse because crying and the like make me feel ill and wish to toss my cookies.

Well, post more as time does allow for it to happen!

Pfizer Update

Well, still no letting up when it comes to my glucose control still taking more insulin than I have ever taken in my life to date and it is starting to scare me that I am needing SO MUCH!

I’m not on upwards of 300 units of humalog in a day – which means I am actually actively not eating because I don’t want to have to take 100 units just to cover something thats only 40 grams of carbs, never mind something that is 60 grams of carbs. At this rate I feel like my body is going hay wire and my GP is still 100% unreachable. I really should call my Endo, but I keep forgetting to do so until long after his office is closed and he has no answering service at the moment (he does but it seems to get full fast, that or he isn’t checking it daily).

I’m still having trouble with staying awake – but its semi better then the 18 hours that I was getting, though not by much. As in some days it is 18 hours other days it is only 12 hours and the odd one i’m luck if I get an hour of actual sleep – so ya it isn’t getting better yet.

My pain level is also feeling like it is through the roof! As in my normal 5 for a functional day is now at a 6 and 7 – I am feeling stuff ALL THE TIME, before it was just an occasion issue that came and went without reason but now it is ALWAYS there it never goes away. I can’t stand for more then 5 minutes at a time and walking well I am forcing myself to walk at least around our block once a day minimum because I need to (I need to get outside and get air) but it always does me in. Its like my body can’t even be active any more without it being a big bleeping deal – which is even more annoying since shopping isn’t easy for me to start with and now with this added issue its even more of a issue!

At this point in time I am not even sure what to expect in the coming days I just pray that it will get better.

Pfizer Update

Well, Norman has 0 side effects from getting the jab, unfortunately, I can’t say the same for me 🙁

For myself, my arm where it was jabbed is still a little tender, which is surprising, to say the least, wasn’t expecting it to still be a tad tender (nowhere like it was three days post-injection, but it is still feeling like a light bruise) to the touch (mostly when laying on that side – which I haven't got many options in since my other shoulder if buggered thanks to the torn rotator cuff).

Otherwise, I am chasing my glucose levels all OVER the bleeping place! As in I am running HIGH more than I am running normally it does feel, even my DEXCOM is saying that I’m only in the range about 20% of the time which isn’t good at all. I am currently taking 110 units of Trebisha and upwards of 200 units of Humalog on an almost daily basis, some days I can get away with as little as 60 units, but mostly it is the full 200 units which ISN’T good at all.

I have tried reaching out to my GP and I have been unable to even leave a bleeping voice message for her! Every call is met with a “Please Call Back Later, We’re Currently Out of the Office” umm yo have been out of the bleeping office for over a bleeping MONTH! I have tried every freaking day at random times and get the same tripping message each and every bleeping time, that I am feeling like I have 100% no medical care whatsoever.

I’ve also been running HOT and COLD which I was expecting to various degrees since it isn’t an uncommon side effect of the Flu shot in general – but this roller-coster ride isn’t something that I am used to feeling from a flu shot, not even the one I had an allergic reaction to!

I am also having a bleeping time of staying awake, all my body wants to do is SLEEP and I mean trying to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time is proving to be harder than it should, it's like I haven’t slept in days and can hardly stay awake type feeling (yet I am “sleeping” in spits and spurts for 18 hours out of 24 – which is ridiculous).

I’m hoping that this will pass very soon as this is getting annoying very fast!

Got The Pfizer Vaccine

Well, both Norman and I got the Pfizer vaccine today, the arm is a little tender to the touch but otherwise, we are both doing fair well!

External Article – How To Stick To A Fitness Routine When You’re Dealing with a Chronic Illness

Despite the title and subtitle, it is a decent article overall, the first major header even says “Know your limits—and learn to be OK with them.” which is something that I have struggled to do with how I have declined over the past several years.

I keep pushing like I know I shouldn’t because I keep feeling like if I do eventually it will get better that it will not get worse and of course, because I keep pushing I keep getting body push back from it leaving me feeling worse off than I started which only makes me push more because I feel like I need to prove to myself that I can do it regardless of how much pain/discomfort and the like my body is in.

The deal of “It is alright to not be alight” applies and I admit that I don’t take it to heart as often as I actually should (I'm a total hypocrite because I will tell another that they need to slow down and take time, yet I can’t even do it myself).

Totally an article worth reading and taking parts of it to heart as a general deal, working out should be part of your daily deal even if it is just 5 minutes or the like, doing something is better in most cases than nothing at all (it is one reason why my daily goal is to hit 2,500 steps or a total of 15 minutes of being active, just puttering around the apparent picking up stuff here and there counts towards being active, or taking the pups out for a potty break counts towards being active).

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How To Stick To A Fitness Routine When You’re Dealing with a Chronic Illness
A little movement goes a long way for these three women battling underlying diseases.

I Can Do This, But…

Well, that is the headline of my current life it does feel, and has been for a while now (not just since COVID lockdown started in 2020, but before that also). It feels like I could write volumes of material over this one topic and I likely could if I could get my brain into the right frame to do so on a consistent basis, and that is in part at the core of my issue.

Motivation to get things done, when I am not feeling it and when I push myself to do it as much as I feel accomplished I also feel defeated at the same time all because I had to force myself to get it done or because I only see the lack of actual progress that it frustrates me to no end that I’m not making good time on what I feel I should already have gotten a good deal done already but haven’t for one reason or another (medically speaking my body doesn't always corporate and I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the fact that as much as my mind says yes my body will say BLEEP NO).

Where do I start, and the cliche answer is “at the beginning” of which I am unsure where that really is so guess it means I’ll start somewhere and go elsewhere from there.

Quote by Jorge Luis Borges

 I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.

- Jorge Luis Borges

Quote by Lance Armstrong

"Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action, and purpose."

- Lance Armstrong (1971 - )