This Isn't My Main Blog

If you would like to read my main blog you can view it here but from time to time I will be posting back dates from the blog here, but by far clicking on that link is the best way of seeing all of my postings that I've written over the past 8 years.

ChildFree Humour

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming!” and I smiled.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to grin.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

“Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”… I just lost it.”

The judge slams his mallet down, case dismissed.

I wont this authors BOOK!

Je regrette . . .

French mother argues that having children ruins romance and relationships

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READ ‘EM AND WEEP

Here are just 25 of Corinne Maier’s reasons not to have children (loosely translated from French by Antonia Zerbisias):

1. Childbirth is torture.

2. Parenting, the most fun ever – as if.

3. Commuting, work, brats – no thanks!

4. Hold onto your friends. Just try. Go ahead. I dare you.

5. Goo goo, ga, ga. Welcome to idiot-speak.

6. Children, the anti-aphrodisaic.

7. Kids, couple killers.

8. Just because everybody else is having babies doesn’t mean you have to.

9. You can’t afford kids anyway.

10. They’ll make you slaves to consumerism.

11. You’ll carry the burden you can never put down.

12. Your child is perfect? Don’t kid yourself.

13. Parenting above all else? Not on your life.

14. Fill your days with parenting experts and deplete your spirit.

15. If the family you were born into was dysfunctional, what makes you think you can do better?

16. Putting yourself first will get you condemned by society.

17. You may not be happy, but you will do everything you can to force your child to be.

18. Schools: prison camps with you as an accomplice.

19. To raise a child, but raise her for what?

20. Mush: this is your mind on motherhood.

21. Pass the Prozac and put on a happy face.

22. Motherhood: the black hole that traps women forever.

23. When children say “Hi,” Daddy goes “Bye.”

24. Suddenly, pedophiles and pornographers are lurking everywhere!

25. Every single rule of good parenting sucks.

FULL article at http://www.thestar.com/article/441338

Test your knowledge

Supersized portions are one reason for an increasing number of overweight Americans. Even if we don't clean our plate, we're still more likely to overeat, some research indicates.

What's normal? What's too big? The "Portion Distortion" quiz, from the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, shows what a typical portion looked like 20 years ago, what it looks like today and how much physical activity it will take to burn off the extra calories.

Test your knowledge of the right-size serving with these questions. For more -- including fries, cookies, burgers, pizza, coffee and chicken Caesar salad -- go to http://hin.nhlbi.nih.gov/portion.

1. A turkey sandwich 20 years ago had 320 calories. How many calories do you think are in today's portion?

A. 820.

B. 510.

C. 630.

2. How long will you have to ride a bike in order to burn those extra calories?

A. 45 minutes.

B. One hour and 25 minutes.

C. Two hours and 15 minutes.

3. Chicken stir-fry was 435 calories 20 years ago (for a 2-cup portion). How many calories do you think are in today's common portion of chicken stir-fry?

A. 625.

B. 550.

C. 865.

4. How long will you have to do aerobic dance in order to burn the extra calories?

A. Three hours

B. One hour and five minutes

C. Two hours and 10 minutes

ANSWERS

1. A. Today's 10-inch turkey sandwich has 820 calories. This is 500 calories more than a portion 20 years ago.

2. B. If you ride a bike for 1 hour and 25 minutes, you will burn approximately 500 calories (based on a 160-pound person).

3. C. Chicken stir-fry is often 865 calories. Many restaurant entrees are large enough for two people. Share with a friend, or eat half and take the rest home.

4. B. If you do aerobic dance for 1 hour and 5 minutes, you will burn 430 calories (based on a 130-pound person).

MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR PROPER PORTIONS

Here are other suggestions for choosing the correct portion size.

Know what you're getting. Check a restaurant's Web site for nutrition information, or ask before ordering. Panera Bread and Ruby Tuesday are among a handful of fast-casual restaurants that provide nutrition information for all their offerings, not just the low-fat or low-carbohydrate ones. Most fast-food chains also provide nutrition information. Order wisely by studying your choices.

Doggy-bag it. If you're ordering at a restaurant, request that half your meal be placed in a takeout container before it's served to you, or do it yourself at the table before starting to eat, and save it for the next day's lunch.

Use visual cues. A serving of meat should be no bigger than a deck of cards; a portion of pasta, about the size of a tennis ball; an ounce of cheese (1 serving), about four dice.

Fill up on fruits and vegetables, especially vegetables. You'll get beneficial nutrients, antioxidants -- and a full stomach. Just make sure they're not covered in a calorie-rich sauce or salad dressing, or prepared with pork fat or lots of sugar, such as sweet potatoes with mini marshmallows.

Baby Chips

Well I might not have children, or wish to have any, but I did find some of this to be humourious, I hope everyone else finds it of some humour as well take care everyone.

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A. So what’s your question?

Q. What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor,
but pressure. Is she right? A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q. What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Extended List of Supplements for PCOS

The following list of herbs and supplements which are what I picked out of several of the PCOS books that I have, one of the books has a fairly good listing of natural remedies for PCOS. Remember though not all of the herbs or supplements listed here might be good for you to take. Before taking any herbs or supplements it is always best to consult with your doctor or someone who specializes in natural medicine.

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Agnus Castus (Chasteberry)
helps with: acne, breast tenderness, infertility, irregular or absent periods, hormone imbalance, mood swings, PMS symptoms, water retention

Aloe Vera
helps with:  acne, diabetes, digestive disorders, dry skin, insulin resistance, obesity

Alpha-lipoic Acid
helps with: diabetes, insulin resistance, obesity

Today Never Sleeps, it only waits for tomorrow

 Well managed to get a few GB freed of my external HDs which is a good thing (got about 15GB freed thus far - burned the data the DVDs for storage since I'm not likely to look at the content of them, as often as I do some of the remaining content - sites, images etc).

Sighs, I'm feeling a little down today, in part because the birthday cake my folks got for me, kind of melted before I was able to see it. That is the second cake I lost for my birthday to melting (one might actually think one's folks wouldn't make that mistake more then once - even if the second cake wasn't ice cream, but a cream cake).

I'm still working on my entries for the cruse time, and for the 18th when a hell of a lot took place, but I have not felt overly interested in writing about it of late, I've been more interested in just going though my LJ Friends posting replies, doing quiz's and what not. Maybe posting images from the trip while my comp works for that period of time, but in general writing about what happened just doesn't appeal to me at the moment. I know in time I'll post more about what happened during my trip, but at the moment its on stand by/hold. 

I am so getting into the quiz deal again, like I use to before i meet my ex, so much so that I could easy fill 20+ entries with quiz's that I've taken today, but I'm not going to, I'm going to post them below since I don't want to make my LJ page here look like its quiz central or anything .. lol

I'm also enjoying reading various people's LJs today, that and chatting with several of you via YIM (still have only gotten to chat with one of you via AIM, but hay I know ppl are not always online when I am, so maybe one day I'll chat with more of you as time allows.

Well I think I might have found two shows of the new season that have caught my attention, one called "Bones" and the other called "Commander In Chief" they have only played the second ep of the shows thus far, but they have caught my attention, which means I might try to watch all the shows that I am able to watch if things keep my attention, that is. There are a new other shows that look promissing, but until I see the second ep I can't say for sure just yet it is has really caught my attention or not.

Well take care everyone, 

Nyx