Pfizer Update

Well still not able to get hold of my GP or my Endo, but I was in contact with my diabetic team from the hospital and they agree that the shot has really done a number of me that is unexpected and that I should file with the government (fill out the form on side effects) about what has been going on with my health and everything.

So working on doing that, but the sites being a bugger for loading and staying loaded – as in I start to fill it out and it times out and louses all the information that I was entering – so might just say for-get-it and do the pdf version instead. 

My glucose control is still nowhere close to where it was before the shot, I am still taking upwards of 300 units of insulin and I am still running high – its like no matter what I do my numbers will not stay below 10 (180) for any good length of time.

My pain level is still high and the stiffness is feeling like it's getting worse and my tolerance to the cold OMG it is BAD. I use to LOVE the cold but the past few days of cooler weather have been so bleeping painful and it has left me in virtual tears because my hands wouldn’t work properly and the pain in my spine was crippling (as in it feels like it's going to snap in two) to the point that pushing myself to walk has left me wanting to eat Advil and Tylenol like candy in the hopes that combined it will give some relief (but I refuse to take more than the daily recommended dosage) – and it does 100% nothing to bring the pain down. It's like I am taking NOTHING at all, which is really disappointing as there is nothing else I can do to lower my pain levels.

I put on a good face, I smile and I laugh I try to not show how much pain I really am in. I think the only reason I am not screaming in pain is that I know it wouldn’t do anything to help the pain and only make things worse because crying and the like make me feel ill and wish to toss my cookies.

Well, post more as time does allow for it to happen!

Pfizer Update

Well, still no letting up when it comes to my glucose control still taking more insulin than I have ever taken in my life to date and it is starting to scare me that I am needing SO MUCH!

I’m not on upwards of 300 units of humalog in a day – which means I am actually actively not eating because I don’t want to have to take 100 units just to cover something thats only 40 grams of carbs, never mind something that is 60 grams of carbs. At this rate I feel like my body is going hay wire and my GP is still 100% unreachable. I really should call my Endo, but I keep forgetting to do so until long after his office is closed and he has no answering service at the moment (he does but it seems to get full fast, that or he isn’t checking it daily).

I’m still having trouble with staying awake – but its semi better then the 18 hours that I was getting, though not by much. As in some days it is 18 hours other days it is only 12 hours and the odd one i’m luck if I get an hour of actual sleep – so ya it isn’t getting better yet.

My pain level is also feeling like it is through the roof! As in my normal 5 for a functional day is now at a 6 and 7 – I am feeling stuff ALL THE TIME, before it was just an occasion issue that came and went without reason but now it is ALWAYS there it never goes away. I can’t stand for more then 5 minutes at a time and walking well I am forcing myself to walk at least around our block once a day minimum because I need to (I need to get outside and get air) but it always does me in. Its like my body can’t even be active any more without it being a big bleeping deal – which is even more annoying since shopping isn’t easy for me to start with and now with this added issue its even more of a issue!

At this point in time I am not even sure what to expect in the coming days I just pray that it will get better.

Pfizer Update

Well, Norman has 0 side effects from getting the jab, unfortunately, I can’t say the same for me 🙁

For myself, my arm where it was jabbed is still a little tender, which is surprising, to say the least, wasn’t expecting it to still be a tad tender (nowhere like it was three days post-injection, but it is still feeling like a light bruise) to the touch (mostly when laying on that side – which I haven't got many options in since my other shoulder if buggered thanks to the torn rotator cuff).

Otherwise, I am chasing my glucose levels all OVER the bleeping place! As in I am running HIGH more than I am running normally it does feel, even my DEXCOM is saying that I’m only in the range about 20% of the time which isn’t good at all. I am currently taking 110 units of Trebisha and upwards of 200 units of Humalog on an almost daily basis, some days I can get away with as little as 60 units, but mostly it is the full 200 units which ISN’T good at all.

I have tried reaching out to my GP and I have been unable to even leave a bleeping voice message for her! Every call is met with a “Please Call Back Later, We’re Currently Out of the Office” umm yo have been out of the bleeping office for over a bleeping MONTH! I have tried every freaking day at random times and get the same tripping message each and every bleeping time, that I am feeling like I have 100% no medical care whatsoever.

I’ve also been running HOT and COLD which I was expecting to various degrees since it isn’t an uncommon side effect of the Flu shot in general – but this roller-coster ride isn’t something that I am used to feeling from a flu shot, not even the one I had an allergic reaction to!

I am also having a bleeping time of staying awake, all my body wants to do is SLEEP and I mean trying to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time is proving to be harder than it should, it's like I haven’t slept in days and can hardly stay awake type feeling (yet I am “sleeping” in spits and spurts for 18 hours out of 24 – which is ridiculous).

I’m hoping that this will pass very soon as this is getting annoying very fast!

Got The Pfizer Vaccine

Well, both Norman and I got the Pfizer vaccine today, the arm is a little tender to the touch but otherwise, we are both doing fair well!

External Article – How To Stick To A Fitness Routine When You’re Dealing with a Chronic Illness

Despite the title and subtitle, it is a decent article overall, the first major header even says “Know your limits—and learn to be OK with them.” which is something that I have struggled to do with how I have declined over the past several years.

I keep pushing like I know I shouldn’t because I keep feeling like if I do eventually it will get better that it will not get worse and of course, because I keep pushing I keep getting body push back from it leaving me feeling worse off than I started which only makes me push more because I feel like I need to prove to myself that I can do it regardless of how much pain/discomfort and the like my body is in.

The deal of “It is alright to not be alight” applies and I admit that I don’t take it to heart as often as I actually should (I'm a total hypocrite because I will tell another that they need to slow down and take time, yet I can’t even do it myself).

Totally an article worth reading and taking parts of it to heart as a general deal, working out should be part of your daily deal even if it is just 5 minutes or the like, doing something is better in most cases than nothing at all (it is one reason why my daily goal is to hit 2,500 steps or a total of 15 minutes of being active, just puttering around the apparent picking up stuff here and there counts towards being active, or taking the pups out for a potty break counts towards being active).

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How To Stick To A Fitness Routine When You’re Dealing with a Chronic Illness
A little movement goes a long way for these three women battling underlying diseases.

I Can Do This, But…

Well, that is the headline of my current life it does feel, and has been for a while now (not just since COVID lockdown started in 2020, but before that also). It feels like I could write volumes of material over this one topic and I likely could if I could get my brain into the right frame to do so on a consistent basis, and that is in part at the core of my issue.

Motivation to get things done, when I am not feeling it and when I push myself to do it as much as I feel accomplished I also feel defeated at the same time all because I had to force myself to get it done or because I only see the lack of actual progress that it frustrates me to no end that I’m not making good time on what I feel I should already have gotten a good deal done already but haven’t for one reason or another (medically speaking my body doesn't always corporate and I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the fact that as much as my mind says yes my body will say BLEEP NO).

Where do I start, and the cliche answer is “at the beginning” of which I am unsure where that really is so guess it means I’ll start somewhere and go elsewhere from there.

Quote by Jorge Luis Borges

 I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.

- Jorge Luis Borges